Worst date ever

What a fun blog topic. When I saw this, I knew which date to pick.  

But then I realized, there are just so, many.. Because I’m awkward.

  
I had a string of dates with guys I met online. Let’s just say that online dating in 2003-2004 was scary. I tried to do everything safely, but it’s simply a miracle I came out alive, and not missing. 

In those days, digital camera quality was low, so deciding how cute a guy was online was kind of a gamble. I recall sitting in my tiny apartment room, eyes squinted, tilting my head sideways and trying to morph any creepiness into adorableness. Because all I wanted was to be liked (and that is some dangerous thinking).

One of the first guys who took me out was very nice. When I saw him, however, I knew he was not my type. He took me to a nice Japanese restaurant called Windy’s in Ogden, Utah. We pretended to sit cross legged on the floor while our legs just dangled under the table in a sort of hole in the floor. The guy would not smile. He was so nervous, and I do remember seeing the red tinge to his face, and perspiration beads on his forehead. I felt bad for him. We barely conversed, and I truly tried. I accepted a second date because I hoped he was a comedian and he would relax so I could actually get to know him. But mostly because I felt bad for him.

So, he picked me up for the second date. He was dressed up very nice. He told me to dress warm. We drove to Salt Lake City in near silence. I tried to make conversation but, it was just so awkward since he didn’t respond to my conversation. And I didn’t know for sure if he was going to take me home alive. He took me to a really nice restaurant. It was so awkward, because he still wouldn’t talk.  The awkward tension was so thick I lost my appetite. He couldn’t even look at me. He then hailed a carriage ride. We rode in a truly romantic setting, and I had no idea who the heck he was. We had to share a blanket. I was starting to panic, because was he going to ask me to marry him? I finally decided that this guy wasn’t for me, and I felt terrible for letting him take me out. We rode in silence home, and I think he got the hint.

I still feel terrible.

But I don’t know if that’s the worst date. One time a really cute guy picked me up. He was so cute online, but in person he was 4 inches shorter than I. I felt like an Amazonian. If he sat down, I felt less huge, and so it was okay. So, I allowed him to kiss me. But then he kissed me a little more. I immediately started sobbing. I don’t know why. Probably because I had never kissed a guy on the first date, and my pure mind was convinced I was headed to impending doom. He didn’t stay much longer, because I couldn’t get myself together. I think he backed out of the apartment, and then ran to his car. Oh well. He was too short, anyway.

Or maybe it was the time that I took a boyfriend (yes, one I met online) to Idaho with me to be with my family. We ended up breaking up on the trip. I had to drive him home for 4 hours in stunned silence.

Things got better. I learned that 100% of the guys I met online were not who they seemed. I believe things have become better in recent years. Nowadays, it is pretty easy to “research” someone if you’re not sure. 

I met the hero of all my childhood dreams via a roommate. After dating a bunch of strangers, it was nice to feel like we had known each other already when we first met. 

Dating is hard. I truly don’t miss it. If you are in the dating scene right now, you’re awesome. Keep at it, and realize you will probably never be as awkward as me. As a parent told me, sometimes a bad date is worth the free meal. It’s worth a shot anyway. Just try to be sure before accepting the next date so you don’t waste a carriage ride on a perfectly innocent person. 

 

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